Bears (Ursidae)

Bears (Ursidae) – large mammals with thick fur and a short tail, hailing from the Ursidae family. Bears are alike to dogs, in that they are also caniforms. Bears are similar to humans as well, in that they walk on the soles of their feet and like giving hugs.

Why did the bear quit digging a den?

It was a boring task.



Because jokes are better when you have to explain them.

1. The act or process of making or enlarging a hole. [Dictionary]
2. Not interesting, tedious.

Paws for the cause

Why bear jokes?

Bear jokes are easy to make. There is no shortage of things named after bears or ideas related to bears – from mascots to foods to phrases to fables, bears are very much apart of our culture. Bear traits and descriptions are used throughout our language in colloquialisms and idioms. Even the word bear itself works well in wordplay because it is a homonym (meaning it bears a striking resemblance to other words with different definitions).

Therein lies the problem with bear puns. Some bear jokes are too easy to make, so they’re often overused. Nothing spoils a good joke like repetition.

The Ursidae Paranomasia Organization wants to protect bear jokes. If you fancy yourself to be a professional punster, comedian, or funny person, we challenge you to devise unique, original bear puns for submission to this website. Once submitted, your pun will be allowed to live in a safe environment, where it will be appreciated, well-documented, accredited to you, then put up on display for the adoring public to read.

To participate, you can submit your pun via email, to, via Twitter to @BearPuns, or via Google+ to +BearPunsOrganization.

Bear in mind, only the most creative puns will be published, so try to be original! Thanks for your interest in Bear Puns.

Fozzie bear does not wear shoes

Why don’t you wear shoes Fozzie Bear?

“Why should I? I’d still have bear feet. Wocka wocka wocka!”

– Fozzie the Bear

Happy australia day

Happy Australia Day! Believe it or not, koala “bears” are not ursine. No! They’re actually disgusting marsupials. But in celebration of Australia Day, we will koala-fy them as bears t’day.

Did you know that a female koala has two vaginas?
Neither did her ex-boyfriend.

What do koalas eat when they’re on a diet?
Low-cal yptus

Why are young koalas called joeys?
Because koalas don’t want to have KIDS.

Bonus: Even after reaching a compromise on the location of Australia’s capital city in 1903, its two largest cities, Melbourne and Sydney, are still considered rivals – Boy, those two cities sure Canberra grudge!


An Unbearable Sight

They wouldn’t let Mama Bear in to look at her husband’s murder scene. It was too grizzly.


Polarity hilarity

Why was one polar bear attracted to another polar bear?

Animal magnetism


Parks Hibernation

Poehler Bear.


Amy Poehler Bear with cast of Parks & Recreation